So, lately, I have been doing an absolute rendering of my own heart and who God has called me to be. Even though I have taught classes, counseled people, and shared with my friends on the issue, I knew that somewhere deep in my heart, I didn't pay full attention to my OWN heart, as to what that would mean for me. Somewhere in my mind, I had made up a perfectly sculpted picture of my life... My job, my family, even down to my schedule. It was an equation for me... Perfect scheduled day + job of my dreams + ministry + unlimited family time= Gods perfect plan for me!
The problem is, I never have fit into my own equation! I thought I knew what life was supposed to look like... The problem came when life happened :) Isn't it funny how things get shaken up? They never seem to end how I plan... As a matter of fact, it seems that once a year, I am due for a life shakeup! Here's a BRIEF snapshot of the last 10 years of my life...
2001- High school graduation! Moms accident...she becomes comatose 4 months.
2002- Started college, bounced from home to home to avoid disfunction at home.
2003- Engaged! Headed into ministry.
2004- Got married! 1st ministry job... Got pregnant...
2005- Life takes a screeching halt- 1st baby born! Plans to stay at home form.
2006- Stay at home mom... To u ladies, enough said :)
2007- 2nd baby born...again, enough said.
2008- Back to work! Filled in holes at church...finances?! Who would've thought? Mom passes away... Shock of a lifetime.
2009- Jumping back into ministry, just in time for ministry re-haul!
2010- Lost my job, due to ministry rehaul... :(
2011- WHO KNOWS?!
Well, its 2010, and here I am... Life's not even close to the equation I thought it would be... asking myself, "Wait...are you ok with this?" and my honest answer, was "YES!" Don't get me wrong, I am always looking for ways to improve my situations, but, somehow, the truth of it all is that I'm ok... Because I KNOW Gods plans are always good... If I can keep my eyes focused on them, and not my own!
If life was all about accomplishing my mission thru a job, Id be pretty disappointed. I thought always wanted to be in full time ministry, yet, it seems I keep getting pushed back out. You see, God never kept me out of the ministry... He just hasn't allowed me to keep a JOB in it! What God placed in my heart was never a position...it was a CALLING! Regardless of titles, God has asked me to do a few things, and I said yes. I said yes without expecting anything in return!
These last few years have also forced me to dig deeper into Gods life mission for me...the bottom line! No matter my job, my ministry service, my friends, finances... This NEVER changes! God made us each unique with specific gifts and desires to make a difference with those wherever we are at! Secondly, it's made me realize that true joy has nothing to do with your present circumstances... It comes when your trust lands on the one thing that NEVER shakes up... It comes from knowing GOD will never let you go! He's got it under control... Really!
My challenge for me, and for you... Find the need around you, and change your world! (and DON'T wait for someone to give you a title to do it!)
And one last thing, be prepared for a shakeup, and look for NEW ways to accomplish Gods dreams! Find your joy in THAT :)